I am a woman who, despite motherhood, wants to live life to the fullest. I reside, however, in a community in which the means I have chosen to accomplish this are often criticized. I am here to provide my perspective, to encourage mothers to self-reflect on their needs, and to impugn the critics of my pursuit. I am optimistic that in time women will reach a balance between caring for others and caring for themselves.
Firstly, the title of this work I imagine to be a foreign concept to some. The terms traveling and housewife do not often go hand in hand. By substituting the latter word with one more befitting, the resulting phrase will conjure recognition. Ah, yes, the traveling salesman! Once upon a time, they were a welcome sight providing the rare opportunity to make a purchase without leaving home and offering immediate gratification to boot. During the fifties, people appreciated the service they provided so much that in 1951 alone, they were a $7 billion industry. These days, however, the majority of us are less than thrilled to find one on our doorstep. Many home-owners even go as far as to affix “no soliciting” labels in plain view to discourage one from ever ringing their bell. Much like a traveling salesman of today, as a traveling housewife I often feel as though I am living in the wrong era, yet we briefly coexist, sharing a tiny dot on the time line–his days numbered to extinction, I preceding the domestic revolution.
In our loss of appreciation for what was once a respectable line of work I find a glimmer of hope. It proves to me that, albeit slowly, we are capable of molding our community sentiment to fit the needs of the times.
Although traveling salesmen are nearly obsolete, harder to shake has been the other role epitomized in the fifties: the oppressive role of domesticity. As I reproach the popular mindset of a bygone era, I challenge the adoption of a new mindset. One in which a ‘traveling housewife‘ would not be the subject of gossip and condemnation. Firstly, we need to nullify the misconception that in order for a mother to be a good one, she must adopt a selfless affect, always ready to serve others, regardless of her own needs.
Perhaps it would help if we consciously appreciated mothers as the world’s most substantial and influential volunteers–volunteers that are responsible for cultivating in the rising generations the confidence, values, and flexibility needed to govern and contribute to society. These volunteers almost always sign on with the support of a donating collaborator and the conception that they are commencing a partnership. But soon after the baby business takes off she comes to realize that the job is exhausting, frustrating, under appreciated, and comes with little to no time off. Ever.
Is it our wish that those who bear this invaluable responsibility become so depleted they eventually grow resentful or worse, apathetic? The solution is to allow or rather support mothers to intermittently take time to indulge her whims and rejuvenate her spirit in order to maintain a healthy sense of well-being. While it may seem that I would purport such a theory for selfish reasons, in essence, it would come to benefit each member in her family. Furthermore, if implemented by the majority it would perpetuate the betterment of society as a whole.
While each woman has her own preferred method to rejuvenate herself, the pursuit I have chosen in order for me to ‘live life to the fullest’ is exploring some of the amazing places earth has to offer. Experiencing the world beyond the familiar corridors of this nation is paramount to my vitality. Perhaps a fusion of curiosity, intuition and fascination lead to my affinity to travel. Much of it is the novelty of seeing diverse people, places and customs. One thing is absolute: exotic food, enchanting people, and eclectic experiences generate new insights not found in the comfort of conventional surroundings. These elements together are unequivocally the best means to replenish my sense and sensibility.
Do not mistake me, motherhood is often an immensely rewarding job, the benefits from which aren’t measurable in profits or net worth; indeed they are priceless. Some are able to find that cooking, cleaning, and caring for their family is enough to endow their emotional needs. Notwithstanding the rewards and the tremendous love I have for my children, I long for more.
Because I am so passionate about my travels, it would not benefit my family if I were denied these occasional escapes (98% of my time is spent alongside them). My children have no doubt in my love and dedication to them. Devoting time to replenish my soul only enhances my ability to reinforce those elements. Furthermore, by witnessing my enthusiasm they are rendered the confidence to use their imaginations and ingenuity to follow what gives them joy.
With a more flexible attitude (one in which a ‘Traveling Housewife’ is not subject to scoffing and criticism) toward the stringent role held to us, I feel, in turn, a change will occur. Once we start taking more time to replenish our emotional well-being, happier mothers will begin to emerge. It is cliché, but true, that a happy mom is fundamental to a happy family. Promoting my position from “housewife” to “traveling housewife” has literally saved my family business.


April 21st, 2008 at 6:41 pm
As a born people pleaser and giver, I was beyond spiritual exhaustion when I finally figured out several years ago that there is a big difference between selfishness and self care. Selfishness, bad. Self care, good.
Now I’m a nut about self care, in every aspect of my life. It keeps me healthy and sane. It requires a certain balance in my life, giving a little time and energy to all those things that are important to me.
If you need a little time here and there to recharge your human battery, take it. No one will do it for you. All the contrary, if you give and give, people begin to take it for granted and then to abuse your kindness.
When I am healthy, I am better able to give to others.
Of course, as parents of young children, we have taken on a very special job. But as long as you can provide for their health and welfare while you are away, your occasional trips can only be to their greater benefit.
You are a guiding light, VS!
April 21st, 2008 at 9:10 pm
A guiding light…hardly! I’m more like the friend other husband’s want their wives avoiding because I encourage women to stand up for their rights. (don’t get me wrong, I would never encourage them to be disrespectful)
Besides, you surely wouldn’t say that if you had witnessed the volatile state I’ve been in lately.
But thanks for your kind words, as always, Ferd!
April 23rd, 2008 at 10:38 am
I would like to do the same.
someday, I will.
Not right now, but someday.
I will be a traveling Mom too.
April 23rd, 2008 at 3:04 pm
Good, piebuko! Where would you like to go?